The Dark Life of Lancy

As of right this moment, I am sitting in this really teenie weenie tiny hotel room in central Tokyo (which, by the way, costs more per night than at the Pyramid Towers Hotel), writing this miserable blog and pushing almost 40 hours without any real sleep or rest.

Flew here from KLIA at 11:30pm last night, and I swear, the Malaysian Airlines air stewardesses were totally bent on not letting me get any sleep. They kept waking me up every two hours or so, to offer me a sandwich, or coffee or breakfast.

They actually served me breakfast at about 5am!

Touched down at Narita airport at 7:30am local time, waited one hour to go through Immigration, and immediately proceeded to take the airport limousine bus to Tokyo city, and continued on to take another 45-minute train ride to Chiba for my meeting.

Talk about mental and physical exhaustion and fatigue!

Best thing is: I have to wake up tomorrow morning at 6am to walk to the train station and take the 7:30am train back to Narita airport to catch my 10:30am flight home.

Anyways, Tokyo is quite nice, really. Food is good, people are super polite, and weather is quite nice (as compared to KL).

Only let-down is: there are none of those uber-sexy, red-hot Japanese girls in mini cosplay uniforms that are bursting the seams around the chest area, that I was secretly hoping to see flooding the streets of Japan.

No…hang on…I think I may have come across one or two…but that was it.

Just like my experience in Korea, the streets are just filled with your average and plain looking Japanese. By now, I strongly and firmly believe that we should ban all those Japanese anime and manga that give healthy young hot-blooded males with hyper-imaginary minds (like me…) such a Utopian imaginary perception of Japan.

Oh yeah…and Japanese porn too.

No…hang on…that’s already been banned…oh well…

Happy National Day, people of Malaysia.
Although, looking at the state of our country’s political and economical scene, there might not be so much to be happy about, really.
Anyways, my girlfriend and I were all geared up to watch the annual Merdeka fireworks at Sunway Pyramid, from the comfort of of our own home. (For your info, my home is on the 14th floor of an apartment on top of a small hill in Puchong, where my balcony overlooks the entire Puchong and Sunway.)
During Hari Kebangsaan last year and Chinese New Year earlier this year, the fireworks display at Sunway Pyramid have been nothing short of majestic, just as before.
Naturally, we were really looking forward to enjoying the display again, as were the numerous crowds who have gathered at the hill just before midnight.
My girlfriend even watched TV dramas the whole night in an effort to stay awake till midnight, which, for her, is no small feat.
Anyways, so there we were, standing on our balcony and looking at the clock, anticipating the first big boom and burst of dazzles.
11.55pm…The lights at Pyramid and the Sunway Hotel were dimmed out. They must be preparing for the display!
11.58pm…I was getting all geared up and fixing my gaze on the Pyramid…
11.59pm…Don’t blink…don’t blink…!
12.00am…Merdeka!!! Merdeka!!! Mer…huh…? Where are the booms and bangs and fizzles?
12.05am…Technical difficulties, maybe. Just give them a minute…
12.10am…Still waiting…waiting…waiting…
12.15am…Oii, WTF is going on here?!

Anyways, there I was, standing on my balcony, gaping at the Pyramid like a blinking fool, stubbornly refusing to believe that there were actually no fireworks this year.
And I just found out that there were no fireworks display at Putrajaya either.
What a gloomy, dull and uneventful National Day celebration…
Has the economy become this bad…?
Or has the Sunway management suddenly become cheap?
In any case, I was sorely disappointed.
Fortunately, I heard that there was still some form of celebration and fireworks display at Sungei Wang.
At least SOMEBODY had a good time…
Bugger…

Yep, you guessed it…I’m in Korea right this very moment.
Writing this blog in the comfort of my room in the very classy (and expensive) Hyundai Hotel in Ulsan, South Korea.
Touched down in Kimchi-Land on Monday morning for one full week of business travels to my suppliers, started from my landing at InCheon airport in Seoul, then throughout the course of the week, moved first to Busan, then Jinju City, and now in Ulsan, and moving back to Seoul on Friday morning.
Contrary to popular belief, Korea is NOT swarming with hot and sexy babes with big boobs and tiny waists. Neither is it crawling with tall and handsome studs with perfectly-proportioned Roman athlete bodies.
Nope, I’ve been here for 3 days and I have yet to see those Kim Hee Seon’s and Lee Hyo Ri’s and Rain’s and Won Bin’s. Actually, all I see are Average Joe’s and Plain Jane’s.
And everything is super-uber expensive here, unless you know the right places to go. The average McDonald’s set meal costs about RM17. BUT they have a burger called the Bulgogi burger…PORK burger!!!
Woohoo…!
In any case, the weather is super nice, though. Summer is just ending and Autumn is starting, so the weather is very cool and windy. The air is not humid at all, and the place where I am staying now, which is only walking distance away from one of the biggest industrial corporations in Korea (Hyundai Heavy Industries), is still cleaner and less dusty than the average KL residential area.
Anyways, it is a very good experience for me. Still in the process of trying out all the local cuisine.
Annyonghi Jumushipsiyo…! (Good night…)

Well…this is it.
The Final Countdown.
After more than 7 years of working in this company, today is finally my last day.
Dropped off my resignation letter last month, without much ado, thankfully. Served the one month notice, and now I’m finally at the end of the road in this company.
It’s been a long 7 years…starting out as a fresh young ciku, with my first-ever salary payment of RM576 (I think, can’t be too sure though)…working like shit even through weekends and public holidays…travelling 9 - 10 months a year working in dusty and dirty cement plants…no money to even have decent meals (had to eat Chinese economic rice everyday, and only 2 vegetables and 1 meat, and no drinks)…
Now I have an apartment and a car of my own, moved up the corporate ladder a bit, have nearly two hundred thousand ringgit in debts, and probably actually poorer than the day I started out.
Seems like my life is still as pathetic as before…only 7 years older.
Oh well…it could’ve been worse, I suppose. Should be thankful. Think Zimbabwe.
Anyways, I’ll be starting my new job as a cubicle-dweller next Monday.
Woohoo…I’m absolutely thrilled…can’t wait.
From a shit-cleaner to a cubicle-dweller…now that’s what I call positive career development.
Think Zimbabwe…

I was doing my online banking the other day, looking ruefully at the dismal account balances and wondering what the hell went wrong that I had ended up like this.
Then I thought about all the worse problems some people faced on a daily basis, and I felt a whole lot better.
Think Zimbabwe.
I think not many people around Malaysia actually realize how bad the situation there is now.
Do you know what is the foreign exchange rate for Zimbabwean dollars?
Be prepared coz’ it’s totally mind-boggling.
As of today, the forex rate is ZWD 20,170,317,159 to US$1 dollar.
That’s about 20 BILLION Zimbabwean dollars to a pitiful ONE US dollar.
Can you imagine that? Can you imagine how bad that is?
National inflation was rumored to be around 10 MILLION PERCENT.
(And we Malaysians were screaming that the end of the world will be upon us when inflation goes higher by a few percent.)
A simple loaf of bread now costs a whopping US$155 DOLLARS, which is about 3.1 TRILLION ZIMBABWEAN DOLLARS.
People now have to carry suitcases of money everywhere instead of wallets.
Paper money is just meaningless there. They actually have 500-Million-Dollar notes there.
Don’t believe me? Have a look at this.

That’s the horror of inflation.
Millions of normal folk just could not cope up with this ridiculous living conditions and have to actually flee their own country and live in exile in neighbouring countries.
So…still think your life sucks?

It seems to me that a guy can’t even properly read the news these days without feeling enraged, insulted or just plain pissed off.
I had another one of those increasingly frequent WTF moments just a few minutes ago.
Reading The Star Online a minute ago when I came across the heading "Malay NGOs Unhappy with Selangor Government".
Seems like some parties are getting all gung-ho over the state government’s recent decision to lift the restriction on the number of non-Muslim places of worship in Selangor.
Their reason was that "this would result in non-Muslim places of worship being built
indiscriminately even in housing areas where non-Muslims were a
minority."
My immediate reaction was those big, loud WTF alarms going off in my brain.
Seems like religious discrimination is still holding on strong in Bolehland.
Over RM400 million of public funds is allocated for Islamic facilities, and there’s a big round of applause from everybody. Build more kuils, temples and churches…errmm…nope, sorry, no can’t do.
Just what the hell does that mean, places of worship being built indiscriminately?
Mosques even in Chinese or Indian majority residential areas are OK, but kuils, temples and churches are not? And so what if kuils, temples and churches are built in Malay majority residential areas? The non-Muslims living there have no right to religious freedom there? They have to "go elsewhere" to worship and pray because kuils, temples and churches are ugly, evil and sinful places that should be shunned?
And just to remind ourselves, kuils, temples and churches are generally quiet places of worship that pretty much keep to themselves. They don’t disturb anyone at all, they just allow people to go in and pray. What’s so wrong with that?
To me, as a Chinese Malaysian, it just reinforces the feeling that no matter what the Umnoputera government says, I am still a second-class citizen. One that they regret giving citizenship to, way back in 1957.
I can just hear them say it again: "If you don’t like it, go back to China!"
Yup, I’ll go back to China the day that the Malays go back to Indonesia, the Indians go back to India and the Baba Nyonyas go back to Portugal.
If I have to be a second-class citizen, then, in my very humble opinion, only the Orang Asli should be first-class citizens.
Malaysia Truly Asia…my ass. WTF!

The results are out…and the Award for Best Comedic Performance of the Year goes to……
ABDULLAH AHMAD BADAWI…!!!!!!
Seriously, I can think of no other award more befitting to our dear and very much beloved prime minister.
Taking into consideration all the extremely laughable statements he has made since beginning of the year, and how he has managed to turn our entire country into an international laughing stock, this gentleman should be getting the Guinness world record indeed.
I cannot imagine how a country leader can be so weak-minded and indecisive, and yet has such gall and balls as to pretend that he is the nation’s hero.
And talking about indecisive, he takes the cake for the fastest change of government decisions, ever.

"No, no, no…I will not remarry…"
*POOF*…he gets married. Not that I could really care less, though.

"No, no, no…Parliament will not be dissolved so soon…"
*PPOOFF*…the Parliament was dissolved the VERY NEXT DAY.

"NO, NO, NO…! I love the rakyat, so there will be no fuel price increase yet…"
*KKAAABBBBOOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!*
Petrol prices increased a mind-numbing 40% THE VERY FUCKING NEXT DAY!

And now…for the grand performance…
"No, No, NO, I tell you…! There’ll be no more price hikes this year!"
Even the cows must be scared shitless when they heard this latest statement!

Woi, hullo…Mister Clean…! We may not be cow farmers…but we sure as hell know bullshit when we see one!
And what’s all this talk about sharing the pain and burden of the rakyat?
What’s that you say…? The leaders want to set an example?
How nice…!
"All cabinet ministers shall have a 10% cut on their monthly entertainment allowances, and paid vacations shall be reduced to only one week per annum, and only to ASEAN countries…"
WTF?
WTF???!!!
SO, because you feel my pain and burden, and you feel sorry for the people, and you want to set a good example, hence you will use less of my money to entertain each other, and use less of my money to bring your family and cronies to lavish holidays in ASEAN countries?!
(Under what conditions do ministers "entertain" others is totally beyond me…when I’m sure everybody will be tripping over themselves to lick your boots and more in return for government contracts)
(Then Chua Soi Lek comes to mind…)
And all this while, you tell me to change my lifestyle, start eating ubi kayu, plant my own vegetables at my balcony, etc etc etc…???!!!
I can’t even afford a local holiday, and you are accorded a PAID vacation???!!!
I’m sorry, I must’ve misunderstood the "share your burdens" part…
How can I trust a prime minister and a government that cons me and constantly keeps giving me the raw end of the deal?  That issues a press statement only to retract it and does the exact opposite, a mere 24 hours later?
No offense, but to me, all your statements and promises are to me, as someone said, pretty much like fart coming out fresh from an asshole…it gives absolutely no benefit whatsoever to the current situation, all it does is make a funny noise, stinks the air around, and make everybody really uncomfortable.
DIU…!!!

I
was listening to Leo Ku’s 2006 hit song recently, “To Have Loved Too Late”, and
was still struck with the same emotions I felt the first time I heard the song,
despite having listened to the same song hundreds of times.

One
of the saddest and most painful of all human emotions is remorse.

I
believe that I would much prefer to never realize I have done anything wrong
and forever live in a state of denial, rather than to realize and regret.

Because
remorse is something you will have to live with for the absolute rest of your
life, no matter how many more years that will be.

The
killer is: You will never forget, and you will never have another chance to
make things right ever again.

It
will gnaw at the very core of your soul, and will haunt you every single day
for the rest of your existence.

The
truth is: I am dead afraid of feeling remorseful.

I am
afraid that one day, my parents will be leaving me permanently, and I will
never get to hear their wise counsel and words of love and encouragement
anymore.

I
have the same fear that the girl I love will leave me one day because she felt
that I have not loved her enough.

The
fear that I will never again hear their laughter at my feeble attempts at lame
jokes; never again to feel their ecstasy at my successes; to never again see
their smiles.

Isn’t
it time to act now?

Whatever
it is we want to do or say, there is no better time to do it than right now.

Despite
our wanting to believe in our own immortality, the truth is harsh: You only
live once, and you only get one shot at making it a good one.

Hence,
isn’t it prudent to live life to the fullest, for all it’s worth?

Isn’t
it immensely stupid to waste the little time we have here on Earth on trivial
and ultimately inconsequential things like quarreling, anger, fighting, and
envy?

What
is the use of winning the whole world, but end up losing your own soul?

What
is the use of earning all those money, if your aging parents are no longer
around to see and share your success?

Is
it really so important to win every argument, especially with the ones you
love?

The
plain and simple truth is: You may win an argument, but you may well have lost
a little bit of their love in the process as well. You scratch and fight and
yell and say hurtful things, and you feel victorious when the other person has
nothing else to say, but the reality is that you have by your own hands stabbed
a knife deep into the relationship.

And
deep wounds never truly heal.

In
the end, you have to demand an honest answer from yourself: What is more
important?

Does
it really hurt your pride so much to lose an argument for the sake of the
relationship? Is your pride worth more than the love and happiness you share
with them?

Is
venting your anger more important than the peace and harmony within the family?

Is
career and money more important than being with your parents and your loved
ones?

Are
you prepared to live with remorse?

What
is Happiness in Life?

Is
being rich the same as being happy?

Maybe
I should put in some numbers to make it easier to determine.

Can
you imagine someone giving you ONE MILLION BUCKS?

OK…let’s
up the stakes and consider this: how about getting One BILLION Dollars?

No
hassle, no strings attached, no catches…the money is for you totally free.

I
could already hear people murmuring, “Of course it would make me happy! Why
not?”

But
now, consider this…

What
if the money was INHERITED?

What
if you got that money because your father or your mother or your siblings were
involved in an accident and died?

Would
you still be as happy as you thought you would be?

Would
you still be happy knowing that someone you love had to DIE to make you rich?

I
figured not.

There
is an urban legend that the CEO of Coca-Cola once said, “To live is to be like
a clown trying to juggle 5 balls. They are Work, Health, Family, Friendship and
Soul. Of these 5 balls, only 1 ball is made of rubber, and that is Work. No
matter how hard you drop the ball, it will still bounce back and you can catch
it again. But the other 4 balls are all made of glass. Once you drop any one of
them, it will be destroyed. Hence, please be very careful with them.”

A
lion cub was playing in the field.

Turning
to his mother, he asked, “Mom, where can we find happiness?”

The
lioness replied, “Happiness is right there on the tip of your tail, dear!”

The
lion cub was very excited and began chasing his own tail, trying to catch the
happiness that his mother had mentioned.

But
no matter how hard he tried, he could never catch his own tail.

His
mother laughed and said, “My dear boy, you can never catch happiness like that!
All you have to do is to lift your head up high and walk with pride, and
Happiness will automatically follow you wherever you go!”

I
have found that Happiness is not a product of your surroundings, and it is in
fact independent of your surroundings.

Happiness
is, in fact, a choice of the mind.

And
this choice can be made in advance, regardless of your situation and
surroundings.

It
is a sad fact that not many people realize this.

To
be human is to err, it is said.

Well,
I say: To be human is to Choose.

Life
may seem like a very complicated subject, but actually, when you seriously
consider it, if you would just cut away all the excess junk in life, then everything,
every single situation in Life, boils down to a simple choice.

Have
you chosen to be happy today?

I read this article many years ago, and just recently remembered about it. So I googled it and post it here for the benefit of those un-enlightened ones. Confirms my belief that English-speaking people are weird folks. Everybody should speak Swahili.

************************************************************************************************

Let’s face it - English is a crazy language.
There
is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in
pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England nor French fries
in France.
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.

We
take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that
quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is
neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write
but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham? If
the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One
goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn’t it
seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb
through annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch
of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call
it? If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian
eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I
think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the
verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play
at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Park on driveways
and drive on parkways? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can
a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise
guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a
language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you
fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by
going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and
it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn’t a
race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible,
but when the lights are out, they are invisible? And why, when I wind
up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?
English is a silly language — it doesn’t know if it is coming or going.